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| So I've been catching up with my old friend Sarah lately, and today she asked me what I wanted to do when I finished school. Here's my reply:
I'm not really sure, actually. That's part of the problem. For years I thought med school (likely for pediatrics or orthopedics), and I still may do that, but I don't know. Lately I've been thinking about law school for the first time in my life (though I'm not really interested in being a lawyer; I'd probably do research or politics or something). I'm also considering a history PhD or a master's in public health. Don't laugh, but I would love to be some sort of international explorer or something like that (think: National Treasure or Indiana Jones). I've also thought about working for a university in some capacity (like as an advisor or something), or maybe some sort of job for a professional sports team, or some sort of travel career (working for a travel agency, a writer or photographer, etc.). And you'd probably never guess this, but my secret dream is to be an actor. As you can see, I am still completely wide open. I don't stress out about it, necessarily, but I do spend a lot of time trying to figure everything out. I wish I had someone who could just tell me what to do lol.
*shrug* I will figure it out someday, maybe?
I think I've watched more movies the past three days than I have in the previous month combined. Yesterday, I decided to go to the Baxter Avenue Theatre (awesome cinema, by the way) to see The Men Who Stare at Goats. It was pretty funny, but I felt it definitely didn't live up to its potential (any movie with Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, and Jeff Bridges should vault into my top 10 list, but sadly it did not). Today, I watched the 1931 classic Arrowsmith with a bunch of medical students and faculty as part of the "Movies With the Dean" series. It was outstanding, incredibly advanced for a movie that's almost 80 years old (no racist stereotypes, discussing biomedical research, etc.). Then finally, instead of working on my essays tonight, I watched the Wrestler. Cory and Logan had gone on and on about how good it was, so I thought I'd give it a shot; they were right. It was brilliant.
Watching these movies is another thing that got me to thinking about what I want from life. In one sense, my dream is to be like George Banks from Mary Poppins (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD4lqPD1f4s), with a well-paying job and a lovely house in a great city (London/New York/San Francisco/Chicago/Boston/Liverpool/etc.) with a wife and a dog (and possibly two kids). Other times I feel like I'm meant to be a wanderer alone, drifting from place to place and job to job without a permanent home, but doing important work for, I don't know, the government, or something. Ooooh, I'd love to have been able to have been an explorer or ambassador or governor or something in the British Empire! Other times I feel like I need to find a job and pretty much devote my life to it (medicine, or law, or something like that), with no time for anything else. Whatever is the case, I do know that I want to be adventurous, with a life that is never dull, and to be remembered as having done something important. "I'm just a man, trying to make his mark on history...A man has only one lifetime, but history can remember you forever." (I'm just convinced I was born 150 years later than I should've been.) There's SO MANY things that I want to do and be and see in life, but certainly not enough time. I've got what, 50 more healthy years? I can't accomplish 1/5 the things I want; that won't stop me from trying, though.
The past couple nights have presented an interested juxtaposition in sleep. Monday night, I had possibly the greatest sleep I've had in Louisville. I woke up at like 9:30 (that's sleeping in for me) and was so comfortable that I just laid in bed for like half an hour afterwards. Last night, I was awoken at 6:17 am by one of the more intense dreams I've ever had. Out of nowhere I was in the back of plane (a passenger jet, not a barnstormer or anything) that all of a sudden did a complete 360 rotation and then started spinning out-of-control and straight down. I distinctly remember telling myself, "Tobin, wake up, you're asleep," but I couldn't. Seconds later, I sprang up in bed and was incredibly dizzy. I wonder if there was any sort of meaning to that.
I swear to God if I see that Luke Wilson AT&T postcards commercial one more time I'm going to go fucking ballistic. #$%#@$@#$@#%
So apparently it's possibly going to snow in Arkansas tonight. WTF mate? That's just not fair.
Got in a great workout each of the past two days. I really need to get in that routine again. I've still been able to workout fairly regularly this semester, but I'm gonna try to get back into my playing shape, haha. Having two former teammates in the NFL is a good motivator. I just need to find two spare hours everyday. Hmm.
The Decemberists never cease to amaze me. I bought their "Here Comes the Waves: The Hazards of Love visualized" and it is absolutely stunning. Some of the most brilliant animation and cinematography I've ever seen.
Token school update: leading Hanson's class yesterday went really well, I think; got my presentation in Potter's class tomorrow (gulp); Death and Dying final on Thursday, should be extremely easy; and in the process of finishing up my last three papers for the semester (well, researching for two I've yet to start, and fine-tuning one that's semi-complete). That's all that stands in the way of me and break. Hooray!
zOMGz THERE'S A LUNAR HALO TONIGHT YAY!!!!!!
As seen outside my apartment just now.
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| Watching the end of Arkansas v. LSU right now. I hate both of those teams, but God what a game. What a series, really. Every year it's close right down to the end. I love Rivalry Week. Oklahoma v. Oklahoma State, Texas v. Texas A&M, Utah v. BYU, Florida v. Florida State, Kansas v. Missouri....so many great rivalries, traditions, matchups, etc. It's definitely one of the reasons I like college football so much.
So Thanksgiving was wonderful. I woke up around 10 and watched part of the Thanksgiving parade in New York. That's one thing I want to go to at least once. After that, it was homework and football for a while. My Thanksgiving lunch was indeed a turkey sandwich and Sun chips, haha. But at 4, I headed over to the shelter to start working. Well, actually the dinner was in an old hotel that's still in pretty nice shape (the Hotel Downtown Louisville). I figured if I couldn't be with loved ones on Thanksgiving, might as well spend it with other people in the same boat. Dinner wasn't until 5, so I just did various minor tasks until then. Meanwhile, the people we were serving were singing karaoke. You could tell it was a big highlight for them. Lots of little kids really enjoying it too, which made me smile. It's cliche but it really is hard to appreciate how lucky you are until you see people who get such great pleasure in little things like that. Well anyway, dinner was at 5. I played the role of a waiter, taking people their food and drinks and all that. When things settled down, I got to have some food, too. There was SO MUCH FOOD. I had three plates' worth of turkey, ham, potatoes, rolls, green beans, and then pumpkin and apple pie. It was fantastic.
BWWWWWWWWWWAHAHAHAAHHAAHA. Alex Tejada missed a field goal in overtime that would've tied it. LSU wins by 3. Suck it, Arkansas.
What is it with me and really long text message conversations with extremely cute girls lately? Haha. On Thanksgiving, I had the most amazing texting conversation ever with my friend Samantha from UCA. She sent me this really sweet happy Thanksgiving text, and then it just went from there for like two hours. I met her with just a few weeks left in my last semester but she's one of the people from there I miss the most. We talked about how both of our dream jobs are to be Indiana Jones/Benjamin Gates, the places we want to see the most before we die (for me it's Petra, for her it's the Buddhas of Bamyan when they get restored), our upcoming trips (I'm going to Hungary/Slovakia/Poland/Czech Republic in March, she's going to Paris in June), our favourite books, etc. Hopefully we'll get to hang out sometime when I'm back home in a few weeks. She's such an amazing person.
Been able to get a decent amount of work done so far. I've got most of my research done for one of my remaining two papers, am mostly finished with my response paper, and am about 90% finished with my presentation. Hopefully since I don't have anything going on tomorrow I can get at least 12 hours worth of work in.
Oh, yesterday was a lot of fun! I woke up around 8 and headed over to Wal-Mart and St. Matthews Mall shortly thereafter (no way I was getting up at like 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever). I got gifts for pretty much everyone in my family (not just mom and Caiden and granny/grandpa, but also the Bartons and the Tylers). I was also able to spend more on them than ever before; hooray for having a decent income. But besides the money, I still think this was the best shopping I've ever done. I hope they all like it. I left the mall around 11:15. The Louisville v. Rutgers game, the last game of the year, started at 11:00, but...I really didn't care about going. Meh. (They ended up losing, of course.)
At 2:00ish, I drove over to Indiana to wait for Allison and her family to pick me up. I rode up to Indy with her, her dad, and her 17-year-old brother. Awkkkkkwaaarrrdddd. But after the initial tensions, it turned out okay. When we got to Indy, her brother went down to the Mavericks' team hotel to wait for the players to come out. I wanted to go, but Allison and her dad invited me to eat with them at Chick-Fil-A, and since they were the ones giving me the free ticket, I felt I should go with them. Plus I was hungry =) But by the time we finished, the Mavericks' still hadn't left, so I went down and waited there with Christian. I got to meet/see Jason Kidd, Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Terry, Shawn Marion, Matt Carroll, Jose Berea, and probably a couple of others. In addition, I got autographs from Popeye Jones and Quinton Ross, so that was really cool. Around 6:30, we walked over to Conseco Fieldhouse and waited for the doors to open at 7:00. Our seats were AMAZING. Section 112, row 12, I believe. I just walked around the arena for a little while before tipoff. Fourth NBA arena where I've been to a game. Got some FANTASTIC pictures of the players during pre-game warmups, as well as during the game, especially Danny Granger, Tyler Hansbrough (Psycho T!!), Jason Kidd, and Dirk Nowitzki. One memorable event was the Denny's "Parachute Drop" promotion, haha. Definitely had never seen anything like it before. Wish I'd have gotten a pic or two f that. The Mavs ended up winning by like 25 points but I had an amazing time. We stopped by Wendy's for dinner on the way home (even though her dad completely overshot it by like half a mile after getting off the interstate, lol) and we had some nice conversations on the way. Her family is really nice, and she's just the sweetest girl, too. All in all a very good and fun night.
There is something in my room that STINKS. Ugh. I'm not sure what it is or where it is but I have to find it and soon.
Status of the day winner: "can't resist watching Gladiator on TNT. especially bc it's pre-joaquin phoenix-decides-to-go-batshit-crazy." Win for Celia.
Can't believe this month is almost over. Just two days left in No-shave November. Pretty sure this is the longest I've ever gone without shaving. I guess Nanowrimo also concludes; I wonder how many words Alex is up to now? Probably 60,000 or something.
Watched Aladdin on tv earlier today when there weren't any decent football games on. I freaking love Disney cartoons. I hope the Princess and the Frog is good.
Absolutely cannot wait for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS7jvg6FKr8
Hooray for cold weather finally coming in. I think it was in the low 30's last night in Indianapolis and close to that here in the 'Ville. I've never been ice skating, but I'd like to go. Hmm.
That's all for now. I'm still missing Alex like crazy, but everything else in my life is going rather swimmingly at the moment. | | |
| So! Change of plans for tomorrow  Instead of just staying in my apartment all day, I'm going to go spend a couple of hours working at the Wayside homeless mission downtown. Yay! I'm actually looking forward to Thanksgiving now. I don't know why I didn't think of doing that earlier.
P.S. - Alexis Bledel is sooooo hot. It's hard to focus on research with this movie on in the background. | | |
| What good is a man who won't take a stand?
What good is a cynic with no better plan? I had like a three-hour text conversation with my friend Holly last night. She has got to be the wisest 18-year-old girl in the world. I don't necessarily mean intelligent (though she is brilliant, to be sure), I mean wise about life and advice, all that. I really admire her for that. After class yesterday, I went out to Tumbleweed with Maurya, Tammy, and Andrea for 99 cent margarita night. I've never been much a drinker so the margaritas didn't entice me much, but the food was AMAZING. I definitely plan on going back there at some point in my time here I also had a fantastic time just hanging out with people. Tumbleweed is on the riverfront with a fantastic view. Driving back, I was again awestruck by how stunningly beautiful this city is. I was driving on River Road, with perfect view of the bridges and buildings and distant hills (and, of course, the Ohio River), all lit by a combination of city lights and the moon. Louisville is probably one of the five or ten most beautiful cities in the country, I would say. I'm pretty sure I sealed my fate yesterday. Argh. Why am I such a fool sometimes? My heart aches for my friends Justin and Cale, both of whom are going through difficult breakups right now. Justin had been with his girl for over a year and had been looking around at engagement rings. I don't think Cale had thought about proposing yet, but I know he definitely though Mary was going to be the girl he was going to spend his life with in the long run. I hate to see two of my best friends hurting so much. Still going to be alone for Thanksgiving. My plans are to watch the parade that morning, do a lot of research and watch football during the day, and probably get some carry-out from a fairly decent restaurant (if there's any open). Hooray? My mom called again last night and offered to buy me a ticket home, but there's no way I'm going to let her do that. I've got a lot to do here, anyway (research for and write two papers). It made me really sad when she started to cry. I wish family wouldn't care about me so much. I've never done anything to deserve it. Even though Thursday won't be that great, the day after Thanksgiving should be pretty fun! =) I'll probably go to some early morning sale somewhere (Bardstown Road? Mall at St. Matthews? Frankfort Ave? Who knows). I always complain about doing that with my family back home but in a way I enjoy it. I might be able to get them some nice gifts or something to make up for not going home. Then at 11, Louisville plays their last football game of the season against Rutgers. I'll probably stay for the first half or so. What a dismal season it's been for Cardinal football. Around 1:00, I'm leaving for Indianapolis with my classmate Allison and her family; they offered me a spare ticket they had for the Pacers v. Mavericks basketball game! I've never been a huge NBA fan but I still enjoy the atmosphere. I've been to NBA games in Dallas, Houston, and Memphis, and now I'll be able to add Indy to the list. Hooray! I'm sure it was probably just because she felt sorry for me spending Thanksgiving alone, but oh well, lol. I'm still looking forward to it. The Senate passed the cloture to continue discussion of Harry Reid's healthcare bill on Saturday night. The key vote? Arkansas' own Blanche Lincoln. The thought that she's one of the most powerful people in Washington right now is a bit terrifying. She's a Democrat, but sometimes in name only. For her re-election bid next year, I really really hope someone like Bill Halter or Dustin McDaniel runs against her. I don't want to vote for her, but I sure as hell wouldn't vote for whatever Republican ends up going against her. In a side note, the last two people in the argument Saturday night? Republican Mitch McConnell (KY) and Democrat Chris Dodd (CT)....both University of Louisville graduates. I thought that was pretty awesome. :) Okay, I said I was staying here to do work, so best get on it. My night is going to be spent reading Jung, Tillich, Heidegger, Kaufman, Kleist, Buchner, Holderlin ...oh how I wish my German was fluent enough to read them in their native language."Time runs from the beginning to the end, but our awareness of time goes in the opposite direction." - Paul Tillich
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| "There is always an inertia to be overcome in striking out a new line of conduct -- not more in ourselves, it seems, than in circumscribing events, which appear as if leagued together to allow no novelties in the way of amelioration."
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